Giving up

I am posting this article I received from Dr. Devin Vicknair, PH.D., LPC. He has made a mark in my life several times without his really knowing it.  He is one of those people that is there, and a comfort, when you are least likely expect it.  This email came to me as a mass mailing, when I  really felt like giving up. It reinforced what I already knew,  I could not give up.  I am posting this as it was written, in its entirety, because there is no direct link to it.  Dr Vicknair’s website is here.  I think as we face loss, or life challenges, then this information is helpful for all of us.  I hope you gain some insight from this.

Giving up

There are times when you just want to give up….believe me, this is a natural part of human existence! While some of us ride that desire to quit, my son says “when life gives you lemons, you squeeze them into life’s eyes!” Ultimately, if you are considering giving up on something, that means you’ve been spending energy on trying to accomplish it. When you believe that you do not have the resources to accomplish the task, you will experience the fight or flight response. This means you will use energy to keep going or run the other direction. Once you get to this point, it is a perfect time to step back and re-assess what is truly happening!
Perhaps you have run out of energy or even need to ask for support to get through. If it was important enough to expend the energy in the first place, it may be worth continuing. Don’t be mistaken…there are things that we should quit, but it is beneficial to get an outside perspective before making that decision. It is important to recognize that there are always options…just because you have not found them, does not mean they don’t exist. A colleague used to say “Don’t quit one second before the miracle happens”.
Putting it into action:
Think of a challenging task that you would like to give up, but believe you would actually be better off to complete it. If you were advising a best friend on how to approach it, what would you recommend? If you could accomplish it, what impact would it have on your life? Utilize the research findings on “willpower” that shows you have more willpower at the beginning of the day as it gets used up as the day progresses. Set aside at least 5 minutes to work on it. If you need to discontinue something, write out the pros and cons of quitting. Get an outside opinion from someone you trust to make sure you are getting objective information. Finally, remember the question that help change my life: “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”
To a Happier & Healthier you!
Devin Vicknair, Ph.D., LPC

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