Obsessed.

For the last 4 months, I have been obsessed.  I have read every article I could find.  I have written my resume over and over again.  I have gotten pretty good at spitting out a really nice cover letter.  But what if it all works?  I had that thought today.  “What if it all works? and they offer me a job?”.

Oh no!

For the first time, I got through the phone call interview, and was given the opportunity for a face to face interview.  I am happy right?  I am.  Really.  Do you feel convinced?  I’m not. What is this insane fear I have that they may actually make me an offer.

The job would be OK.  But just OK. It is not what I had. It is not management. It is a third of my original salary, but the benefits are good. I don’t mind working myself up through the ranks again. I can do that. But after 26 years, I felt safe in my old job. I “knew” how to handle every situation. I knew the right people to go to. I knew the customers and the product. The thought of starting over is daunting.

I was having extreme anxiety. Should I even go to the interview? It would be easier to stay home.

Of course the first thing I did was Google it.  What I found is this fear is common.  That makes me feel better, but the fear is still there. The uncertainly is still there. “Maybe I’m too old.”  “Maybe I can’t change.” Most importantly, “Can I take direction from someone else?”

Why am I doing this?

So many questions! Second guessing myself is not helpful. So how do I get over it?  The articles linked above are helpful, but it’s hard. Change is hard. Getting over the lingering resentment that I have for being put in this situation is hard. Letting go is hard. I want to scream at the unfairness of it all.

The point of this blog, is that fear of the unknown is normal. The key is recognizing the fear so it does not undermine your interviews.  Remember what you are working toward.

Fear of uncertainty is real, and like everything else, you have to get past it. The uncertainty of anything new throws us off balance.  It is helps to know you are not alone.  There is comfort in numbers… To quote the Nike slogan, “Just Do It!”  Don’t let your fear of what could happen, make nothing happen.