Positivity – The act of staying positive…
Stick by your positive friends. They will lift you up.
Writing about positivity is much easier than living it. At least for me it is. I have met very positive people and wondered “how do you do that?”. I have good friends that have positive outlooks or so they seem to me. Positive people, are people you want to be around all the time because they lift you up.
When you are laid off from a job after being a part of the company for a long time, it is difficult. There is a period of “adjustment” from the breakup. Part of trying to get better, or positive, for me is writing. Having a cause, and trying to help others deal with it, gives me a direction. Something to fight for in my own small way.
Understanding that the rules for job hunting have changed is easy once you know. That is just mechanics. Regrettably, understanding that the rules for job hunting have gotten harder, just because you have aged is more difficult. How do you fight a bias? There are times like now, as I write this, when I think this is just so unfair.
But life is not fair.
I had an interview this week that threw me off, and brought home what we are up against. My new ageless resume, got me a phone interview, that resulted in a face to face interview with two interviewers. The interview got of to an a bad start when I provide an addendum to my resume with more work experience. The first interviewer accepted the additional information happily, and asked the usual questions. The second interviewer (that happened to be the manager of the team) was much younger and frowned. She actually got angry and did not even bother to hide it.
When the interview was completed by the first interviewer, the second interviewer snapped her notebook closed sharply and said, “Well that’s everything I need to know.” and ended the interview. The first interviewer looked a little surprised. When I left I felt sick, bewildered and anything but positive. All my life I have been offered a job after the first interview, on my own merit. I find it hard “to accept” that I am no longer acceptable.
Rejection is hard for anyone.
Dealing with rejection over and over again is hard. Its not a positive experience. Not dealing with it however is not an option. If you don’t try then you can’t win. This morning I am studying the art of Positivity. It is a state of mind which means you have to work at it. Not staying positive means you could succumb to the desire to just quit. So I study, and I research, and try to make myself stay positive. This article I read this morning by Travis Bradberry in Entrepreneur helped, and so I wanted to share it.
“The real obstacle to positivity is that our brains are hard-wired to look for and focus on threats. This survival mechanism served humankind well back when we were hunters and gatherers, living each day with the very real threat of being killed by someone or something in our immediate surroundings.
That was eons ago. Today, this mechanism breeds pessimism and negativity through the mind’s tendency to wander until it finds a threat. These “threats” magnify the perceived likelihood that things are going—and/or are going to go—poorly. When the threat is real and lurking in the bushes down the path, this mechanism serves you well. When the threat is imagined and you spend two months convinced the project you’re working on is going to flop, this mechanism leaves you with a soured view of reality that wreaks havoc in your life.”
My negative voice has always been very strong. As a hunter gatherer I would have been a survivor. As a civilized human not needing fight or flight everyday, I have to fight the desire to look for it. Some days I win. Some days not so much. I am are not alone, and neither are you. The message for those of us looking for jobs in an age hostile environment, is keep trying.
The article above by Travis, gives you two steps to help fight negativity and build positivity. Read the article.
- Step 1: Learn to recognize your negative voice. When you hear it, stop what ever you are doing and write down exactly what you are thinking. This action slows the mind down and forces you to look at reality. Writing a negative thought down can take away its power, while you catch your breath.
- Step 2: As you learn to recognize your minds’ negative voice, practice turning it off with a positive thought. Any positive thought will refocus your mind. If the negativity comes back, refocus again with positive ones. (They assure me this becomes easier with time.)
Just the act of hearing and understanding that you have a negative voice in your mind working against you, is a step in the right direction. Writing helps me. Others use meditation or just talking to friends. We all need to find our outlet. Surrounding yourself with positive people also helps. Being positive is not only healthier for you it may help you in an interview. Turn loose of the negative and be positive in the face of a negative interviewer. Famous last words! 🙂
More excellent sources of positivity: